I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
