if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
