so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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