As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sext me about skeletons
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
