I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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