she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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