If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
