I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
