she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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