You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
