a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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