speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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