He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize