I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
