i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
