Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
