im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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