I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
