eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize