I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
