wakey wakey hands off snakey
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize