So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
