we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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