So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
