were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The Olympian is in my bed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
