i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
worst night to have a conscience
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
