Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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