WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Randomize
