Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
