The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
