Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
God, I missed his penis.
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