so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
