Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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