Walk of Shame. In a state park.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
