oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
