he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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