Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
