thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
