My entire life is one complicated drinking game
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How's work?
Spinning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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