Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
