Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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