I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
