4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
