haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think your dad took our porno
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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