Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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