Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize