I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
