his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
