oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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