You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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