she looked like the before picture.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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