Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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