**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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