she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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