i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
