Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
