he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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