So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
