My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
