oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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