do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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