i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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