it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
